Discounting is Destructive and will ruin your progress!

Are you one of those people who when someone compliments you on how much weight you’ve lost, you immediate respond with “but I’ve got so much more to lose“. Or when someone compliments you on your hair or dress, you counter with “she cut it too short” or “this old rag?”.

This is Discounting. It’s when we play down our achievements and many of us, particularly those who have been overweight for a long time, do it completely out of awareness. There are a few reasons why it’s important for you to become aware of when you are doing it and to try and stop it. Continue reading “Discounting is Destructive and will ruin your progress!”

Is All or Nothing thinking sabotaging your diet?

 

How many times have you started a diet, usually on a Monday!, do really well until Wednesday morning when a work colleague brings in cake to celebrate their birthday. You succumb to the temptation, love the cake for a few seconds, then start thinking “well I’ve blown it now so I may as well have more”. This is All or Nothing thinking. It’s either or, black or white, on a diet or off a diet. I’m perfect or useless. I’m good or I’m bad.

This way of thinking is not helpful when you are on a diet! Continue reading “Is All or Nothing thinking sabotaging your diet?”

Do you believe you can?

 

Before you embark on any weight loss program, ask yourself if you really believe you can do it? If the answer is “no”, you need to explore this. The saying above is very true!

If you start off believing you can’t do it, you are making it even harder for yourself. Why don’t you believe it?   Is it because you have tried so many times before?   Were you “labelled” as the “big boned” child in the family?   Do you have a mother or best friend who on the one hand agrees you need to lose weight but on the other feeds you cake?   Have you, like me, got health conditions that make you believe being a healthy weight is now impossible for you?  Or perhaps you think “it’s too hard” or “I can’t be bothered”.  When you’ve identified what the core dysfunctional belief is, you are in a position to do something about it!

Challenge your belief.    Perhaps the statement that felt the hardest to bear and may have made you tearful was “It will be too hard”.     Write that down on a piece of paper.    Underneath it, draw a line down the centre of the paper and on the left hand side, write all the evidence that proves it will be “too hard”.   On the right hand side, write all the evidence that it won’t be hard.    Then go through the list on the left and look for solutions for everything you wrote.   If you need a friend to support you, get one.   If you need to join a group, do it.   If you need to try something new because the others haven’t worked, do it!

Remember this;  you only need to tackle one thing at a time.   You don’t need to be overwhelmed by doing everything on Day 1.   Just do what you can do.   When you are comfortable with that, add the next thing.   By doing this exercise, you will have learnt a new way to deal with life’s little lessons and it can help you every time you hit a hurdle.

You CAN do this.   Believe it, embrace it …. and then go and shock yourself by achieving it!

Please don’t tell me what to do. Just listen.

When I was in my twenties, people used to gravitate towards me to tell me their problems. I had this huge sense of inadequacy that I didn’t know what to say or if what I was saying was right until my mother shared some wonderful words of wisdom. She said “People don’t want your advice. We all have an intuition or an inner knowing about what to do. Our biggest gift is to have someone who really listens and hears, who encourages that person to express themselves freely and unconditionally and then to sit with them as their solution becomes their reality“. Thank you Mum.

When I look back on my life, the people I treasure the most are the ones who have really listened to me. Some of them I’ve never seen again but the gratitude is always there for the positive impact they had on my life in that moment.

Help! I feel completely out of control!

When I have my first chat with potential clients about losing weight, the most often heard sentiment is “I feel completely out of control”.

There are very few other parts of us that can have such an overall impact as being overweight. It’s as if being overweight becomes this cloud that affects every part of our lives; our performance as a parent, our performance in work, our social life, our emotions. Everything!

So it’s understandable that we pin so much hope on losing weight because we know that as the weight comes off, everything else improves and our sense of control over our lives normalises. The problem is that when you are feeling so overwhelmed, you can’t see the wood for the trees and even changing your eating feels too big and too frightening.

I recommend finding a good coach who can help you see the bigger picture, release the emotion and help you set a little goal to get started. Knowing somebody is 100% there for you and wants you to succeed can make all the difference in finding the energy to make that start.

Are you wasting valuable time?

So many of us do not want to hear it when we are told that “losing weight” will improve our ailments.   We become angry and defensive and prefer to have a “quick fix” tablet.    We want the easy way out.

Even when we look into  a diet, we look for the one that allows us our “cheats” or that will magically make us lose weight without us starting to exercise or give up on anything.

Since I started “eating clean”, I have been amazed at what has improved in my life.   The first thing I noticed was that I could go down stairs like a normal person instead of one step, one step and holding on for dear life.    Hmmm.    So it was just some weight (trust me I’ve still got quite a lot!!) rather than the non existent cartilage I was telling everyone it was. Continue reading “Are you wasting valuable time?”

If you are waiting till you look perfect, you will never get there!

Of course we all want a perfect body but guess how many of us will get one?  None!!!   Not even those who spend a small fortune (or large fortune!!) on surgery end up with perfect bodies.

Yet sub-consciously that is what many of us chase.

We are very hard on ourselves when we are dieting if we don’t stick perfectly to plan, berating ourselves, putting ourselves down and worst yet, giving up because we “can’t do it”.

We go into shops to buy an outfit and get upset that it doesn’t sit perfectly on the lumps and bumps or in that awful artificial light in the shop.

We dread going to our weight loss meetings in case we don’t lose as much as someone else. Continue reading “If you are waiting till you look perfect, you will never get there!”

Being “judged” will never help someone lose weight!

My son is fanatical about cricket and at the grand age of 38 plays for a local county team.   I’m just as fanatical about sitting in the sun watching him every Saturday afternoon and seldom miss a game.   I sit quietly minding my own business and usually the opposing team are sitting close by whilst their team bats and my son’s team are bowling / fielding.  I overhear very interesting, often very male oriented banter!

I also overhear comments made by the team and from time to time they are about my son.    I never respond but on one occasion, a player was chirping with comments like “that guy can’t run”, “he’s hopeless at catching” etc.  When he said “that guy runs like he’s disabled” which was followed by raucous laughter from the team, I couldn’t hold myself back any more.  I turned to them  quietly and calmly asked “would you feel differently if you knew he has had two hip replacements?”.   Needless to say they felt very embarrassed when I told them my son had his first hip replacement at 23 and his second at 35.

As overweight people, we know how it feels to constantly be unfairly judged. Continue reading “Being “judged” will never help someone lose weight!”

What’s your motivation for losing weight?

Many people start a diet for reasons of vanity.   I ask all my clients on their first session what they hate about being “fat” and most of them get very embarrassed to admit that they “don’t like” their body, “feel ashamed” of their legs, hate the fact they can’t wear a bikini or have “gross flabby skin”.   It’s as if they expect me to judge them for not liking their bodies.

I never do.  I think humans have an inbuilt motivation to look our best because that in turn helps us feel happy and contented.   I also believe that we are all individuals and entitled to feel what we feel.    I often hear the expression “I should be grateful and happy because my life is not nearly as bad as hers”.  Continue reading “What’s your motivation for losing weight?”

You need time to Recover from illness and surgery.

Over time, I have come across many clients who have had surgery whilst on their weight loss journey, some anticipated and some a total surprise.   One thing that is pretty consistent with them all is the impact it has on them afterwards.

Almost without exception, they all find themselves very weepy and down about 4 weeks after the op.   They talk about just not feeling themselves, feel overwhelmed, somewhat down and depressed and that life feels too much let alone the diet!

I’m no medical expert but I suspect this has to do with anaesthetic. Continue reading “You need time to Recover from illness and surgery.”