So what exactly do we mean by rituals? They are things we do in a certain way over and over and which give us meaning, purpose and a sense of belonging to others. It could be Easter, Christmas, the Sunday family roast, birthday celebrations, church, work meetings, etc etc etc.
Look at the list above and ask yourself which ritual do you know of which does not include food. It will be a very small percentage if you can find any at all!
The thing to learn is that when you link certain foods to a certain ritual, ie. chocolate Easter eggs to the Easter weekend for year after year as a child, a neural pathway is set. Even when you are a 60 year old adult, that same neural pathway will be activated at Easter and you will find yourself wanting chocolate Easter eggs. The drive to have them can be over-whelming! Continue reading “What are Rituals and what do they have to do with your diet?”
It’s an amazing thing that when we feel overweight, that can blur our filter to everything else we see about ourselves. We no longer think we are pretty, intelligent, sexy, funny, smart, well groomed, a good mother, a good wife, a worthwhile person. Hmmmmmm!
So is it true that because you have some extra fat on your body, you have lost all the other qualities? Impossible! It’s simply your perception of yourself and if you ask others, often you will find they don’t care about your weight and they still see all the other qualities even if you don’t. Continue reading “You are not fat. You have fat.”
How many times have you started a diet, usually on a Monday!, do really well until Wednesday morning when a work colleague brings in cake to celebrate their birthday. You succumb to the temptation, love the cake for a few seconds, then start thinking “well I’ve blown it now so I may as well have more”. This is All or Nothing thinking. It’s either or, black or white, on a diet or off a diet. I’m perfect or useless. I’m good or I’m bad.
This way of thinking is not helpful when you are on a diet! Continue reading “Is All or Nothing thinking sabotaging your diet?”
Before you embark on any weight loss program, ask yourself if you really believe you can do it? If the answer is “no”, you need to explore this. The saying above is very true!
If you start off believing you can’t do it, you are making it even harder for yourself. Why don’t you believe it? Is it because you have tried so many times before? Were you “labelled” as the “big boned” child in the family? Do you have a mother or best friend who on the one hand agrees you need to lose weight but on the other feeds you cake? Have you, like me, got health conditions that make you believe being a healthy weight is now impossible for you? Or perhaps you think “it’s too hard” or “I can’t be bothered”. When you’ve identified what the core dysfunctional belief is, you are in a position to do something about it!
Challenge your belief. Perhaps the statement that felt the hardest to bear and may have made you tearful was “It will be too hard”. Write that down on a piece of paper. Underneath it, draw a line down the centre of the paper and on the left hand side, write all the evidence that proves it will be “too hard”. On the right hand side, write all the evidence that it won’t be hard. Then go through the list on the left and look for solutions for everything you wrote. If you need a friend to support you, get one. If you need to join a group, do it. If you need to try something new because the others haven’t worked, do it!
Remember this; you only need to tackle one thing at a time. You don’t need to be overwhelmed by doing everything on Day 1. Just do what you can do. When you are comfortable with that, add the next thing. By doing this exercise, you will have learnt a new way to deal with life’s little lessons and it can help you every time you hit a hurdle.
You CAN do this. Believe it, embrace it …. and then go and shock yourself by achieving it!
When I was in my twenties, people used to gravitate towards me to tell me their problems. I had this huge sense of inadequacy that I didn’t know what to say or if what I was saying was right until my mother shared some wonderful words of wisdom. She said “People don’t want your advice. We all have an intuition or an inner knowing about what to do. Our biggest gift is to have someone who really listens and hears, who encourages that person to express themselves freely and unconditionally and then to sit with them as their solution becomes their reality“. Thank you Mum.
When I look back on my life, the people I treasure the most are the ones who have really listened to me. Some of them I’ve never seen again but the gratitude is always there for the positive impact they had on my life in that moment.
When I have my first chat with potential clients about losing weight, the most often heard sentiment is “I feel completely out of control”.
There are very few other parts of us that can have such an overall impact as being overweight. It’s as if being overweight becomes this cloud that affects every part of our lives; our performance as a parent, our performance in work, our social life, our emotions. Everything!
So it’s understandable that we pin so much hope on losing weight because we know that as the weight comes off, everything else improves and our sense of control over our lives normalises. The problem is that when you are feeling so overwhelmed, you can’t see the wood for the trees and even changing your eating feels too big and too frightening.
I recommend finding a good coach who can help you see the bigger picture, release the emotion and help you set a little goal to get started. Knowing somebody is 100% there for you and wants you to succeed can make all the difference in finding the energy to make that start.