Are you one of those amazing people who are really good at remembering everyone’s birthday, go to a lot of trouble to give very thoughtful gifts and are always there where people are in need?
I used to be like that and it taught me a great life lesson when I could no longer manage it because of my health.
I can remember times when I would be wracked with guilt because I sent a birthday card too late to reach the person on time or forgot to send someone a Christmas card. I would feel very unhappy, uncomfortable and it could upset me emotionally for days. Until one day I realised that the person I had sent the card late to had not sent me a birthday card in years! It was a lightbulb moment!
We are all brought up differently. Some things will be incredibly important to some people and mean very little to others. Just because you go the extra mile to make people feel valued and special, doesn’t mean that they will do the same for you. They might make a huge effort in other ways that are more relevant to their upbringing.
Think about RSVP’ing to an invitation. I would never dream of not replying to any invitation, no matter how important or inconsequential the event was. It’s just not in my DNA. There are many people out there who don’t give it a second thought.
The reason I am writing about this is because if you expect people to treat you the way you treat them, the chances are there will be times when you will be very disappointed or upset. When you become upset or disappointed, there is a good chance you will turn to food (or wine!) to help deal with the pain.
When you do something good or kind for someone else, try and do it with no expectation. Do it simply because it gives you pleasure to do it.