My son is fanatical about cricket and at the grand age of 38 plays for a local county team. I’m just as fanatical about sitting in the sun watching him every Saturday afternoon and seldom miss a game. I sit quietly minding my own business and usually the opposing team are sitting close by whilst their team bats and my son’s team are bowling / fielding. I overhear very interesting, often very male oriented banter!
I also overhear comments made by the team and from time to time they are about my son. I never respond but on one occasion, a player was chirping with comments like “that guy can’t run”, “he’s hopeless at catching” etc. When he said “that guy runs like he’s disabled” which was followed by raucous laughter from the team, I couldn’t hold myself back any more. I turned to them quietly and calmly asked “would you feel differently if you knew he has had two hip replacements?”. Needless to say they felt very embarrassed when I told them my son had his first hip replacement at 23 and his second at 35.
As overweight people, we know how it feels to constantly be unfairly judged. I think it’s a fairly normal human thing to do because of survival of the fittest but we are not animals and it can cross a line. We have “thought” so we have choice and choosing to be judgemental is not great when you’re on the receiving end.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s helpful to be a wimp and get upset with every negative comment that is made.
It’s up to us to do whatever we can to build up our own confidence and self esteem to the point that if somebody says something nasty, we have the self assurance to “take is from whence it comes” and literally choose to pay no attention to it.
It is impossible for you to be liked, loved, adored and thought of as perfect by everyone. There will be people who think or say nasty things. You hold the power to decide whether you’re going to allow them to upset you…. or not! The great thing about losing weight is that it boosts self esteem and confidence within a few days of starting. Feeling “in control” will help you bat away any nasty comments that may come your way.