It’s an amazing thing that when we feel overweight, that can blur our filter to everything else we see about ourselves. We no longer think we are pretty, intelligent, sexy, funny, smart, well groomed, a good mother, a good wife, a worthwhile person. Hmmmmmm!
So is it true that because you have some extra fat on your body, you have lost all the other qualities? Impossible! It’s simply your perception of yourself and if you ask others, often you will find they don’t care about your weight and they still see all the other qualities even if you don’t. Continue reading “You are not fat. You have fat.”
How many times have you started a diet, usually on a Monday!, do really well until Wednesday morning when a work colleague brings in cake to celebrate their birthday. You succumb to the temptation, love the cake for a few seconds, then start thinking “well I’ve blown it now so I may as well have more”. This is All or Nothing thinking. It’s either or, black or white, on a diet or off a diet. I’m perfect or useless. I’m good or I’m bad.
This way of thinking is not helpful when you are on a diet! Continue reading “Is All or Nothing thinking sabotaging your diet?”
Before you embark on any weight loss program, ask yourself if you really believe you can do it? If the answer is “no”, you need to explore this. The saying above is very true!
If you start off believing you can’t do it, you are making it even harder for yourself. Why don’t you believe it? Is it because you have tried so many times before? Were you “labelled” as the “big boned” child in the family? Do you have a mother or best friend who on the one hand agrees you need to lose weight but on the other feeds you cake? Have you, like me, got health conditions that make you believe being a healthy weight is now impossible for you? Or perhaps you think “it’s too hard” or “I can’t be bothered”. When you’ve identified what the core dysfunctional belief is, you are in a position to do something about it!
Challenge your belief. Perhaps the statement that felt the hardest to bear and may have made you tearful was “It will be too hard”. Write that down on a piece of paper. Underneath it, draw a line down the centre of the paper and on the left hand side, write all the evidence that proves it will be “too hard”. On the right hand side, write all the evidence that it won’t be hard. Then go through the list on the left and look for solutions for everything you wrote. If you need a friend to support you, get one. If you need to join a group, do it. If you need to try something new because the others haven’t worked, do it!
Remember this; you only need to tackle one thing at a time. You don’t need to be overwhelmed by doing everything on Day 1. Just do what you can do. When you are comfortable with that, add the next thing. By doing this exercise, you will have learnt a new way to deal with life’s little lessons and it can help you every time you hit a hurdle.
You CAN do this. Believe it, embrace it …. and then go and shock yourself by achieving it!
When I was in my twenties, people used to gravitate towards me to tell me their problems. I had this huge sense of inadequacy that I didn’t know what to say or if what I was saying was right until my mother shared some wonderful words of wisdom. She said “People don’t want your advice. We all have an intuition or an inner knowing about what to do. Our biggest gift is to have someone who really listens and hears, who encourages that person to express themselves freely and unconditionally and then to sit with them as their solution becomes their reality“. Thank you Mum.
When I look back on my life, the people I treasure the most are the ones who have really listened to me. Some of them I’ve never seen again but the gratitude is always there for the positive impact they had on my life in that moment.
When I have my first chat with potential clients about losing weight, the most often heard sentiment is “I feel completely out of control”.
There are very few other parts of us that can have such an overall impact as being overweight. It’s as if being overweight becomes this cloud that affects every part of our lives; our performance as a parent, our performance in work, our social life, our emotions. Everything!
So it’s understandable that we pin so much hope on losing weight because we know that as the weight comes off, everything else improves and our sense of control over our lives normalises. The problem is that when you are feeling so overwhelmed, you can’t see the wood for the trees and even changing your eating feels too big and too frightening.
I recommend finding a good coach who can help you see the bigger picture, release the emotion and help you set a little goal to get started. Knowing somebody is 100% there for you and wants you to succeed can make all the difference in finding the energy to make that start.
If you are cynical, try this simple test. Stand with your arm out at shoulder height and ask someone to push it down as hard as they can whilst you resist. Get a feel for how hard you need to resist in order to keep your arm at that height.
Now say 10 times out loud “I am a weak and feeble woman (or man)” and try the exercise again. I’ll bet your arm dropped down surprisingly easily. Continue reading “How can an affirmation possibly help me lose weight??”
Aren’t we strange! How many times have you heard someone say “I’m starting my diet on Monday”? Of course Monday is a good day to get started because it’s the first day of the week, we usually have the weekend before to get organised, buy all the right food and gear ourselves up mentally. But what happens when you succumb to cake at 10am on Tuesday? Do you wait until the following Monday? Therein lies the problem – all or nothing thinking! Continue reading “Diets work just as well if you start on Thursday.”
So you are overweight and sadly, Christmas happens to happen whilst you are still on your journey. Are you already stressing about what you would like to do and whether you can stick to your choice?
Let’s just say at the outset that whatever you choose to do is entirely up to you and you alone. Don’t let others influence your choice … they don’t live in your body.
Logically, you have 3 choices. Think them through, recognise the consequences then accept them.
Choice 1 : Give up your plan completely. Consequence: You WILL gain weight, probably a lot (because of glycogen). Accept it, enjoy it and get back on plan on the date you decide to, no matter what. Understand that by bringing sugar back into your diet, you will need to wean yourself off it again which we all know can be difficult. Use the lapse as a good learning experiment. Could you eat as much, did some foods (which) make you feel ill, how was your sleep and mood.
Choice 2 : Stick mainly to plan but allow yourself some controlled treats. Know in advance as much as possible what is going to be available. Do your research and decide which treats you love the most / want the most and set yourself a limit of how much you can have. Fill up on protein before you eat anything else. Consequence: You will enjoy your day, you MAY put on weight, you will minimise sugar cravings, you will have a sense of achievement. Get back on plan straight away.
Choice 3 : Stick 100% to plan. Consequence: You WILL lose weight. You will have a great sense of control and achievement. You will have conquered a massive barrier. You will have mastered a massive lesson in behavioural change which will benefit you for the rest of your life.
Some stocking fillers from me….
– Christmas is on the 25th of December. It doesn’t start on the first.
– There is loads of healthy food on Christmas day too. Eat mainly healthy food and top up with treats instead of the other way around.
– A lovely client (thanks Helen) told me that if she knew she had a function, she would imagine putting the relevant meals in a lunch box. Once those meals were gone, it was straight back on plan. (Needless to say, Helen is now her happy weight).
– We often think that because we’ve been extra good at a function when everyone else has been little piggies, that we deserve to lose extra weight. Weird I know. Sadly, it’s also totally illogical so don’t expect any extra!
– Don’t beat yourself up if you have put on weight. Put your energy into losing the rest instead of moaning about something you cannot change.
– Dry champagne and vodka are the least weight affecting alcohols. Drink loads of water to minimise their impact.
Christmas is what is known as a “Ritual”. It’s something that happens regularly and has a major significance to many of us, a time for getting together with family who you may not see for the rest of the year and a time for letting go, relaxing, having fun …. and eating!!! And drinking!!! And playing silly games!!! If you look at different cultures and religions, most rituals are associated with food.
So what happens is that as a little child, we learn by association. We associate Christmas with cards, shopping, gifts, food, pretty lights, colours, fun, decorations, a tree, soppy movies, Christmas cake, turkey, brussel sprouts, snow in the northern hemisphere, sunshine and a barbeque in the southern, etc etc etc. It kind of comes as a package and usually a package that evokes good emotions. Continue reading “Christmas is a coming and it’s not only the geese who are getting fat!”