You say you really want it, so why aren’t you doing it?


Very often I come across people who are sad, miserable and desperate to lose weight.   They talk the talk, come to group, engage in the conversation, know all the facts……but they don’t do what needs to be done.    This is called a “Mismatch”.   The intentions and the actions simply don’t match.

It’s a common phenomenon and people give away little hints and clues that whilst intellectually knowing what to do, they are simply not able to make the leap into the “doing” bit. Continue reading “You say you really want it, so why aren’t you doing it?”

Type 2 diabetes is absolutely, definitely, certainly curable!!!

What I am going to say on this page may seem very controversial to some and I will say at the outset, I am not trained medically in any way shape or form.   I have no dietary qualifications……just a load of interest, experience and common sense!

If you have Type 2 diabetes and have been told it’s incurable or irreversible, it’s hogwash!   There’s a bit of a ding dong going on in cyberspace between the “establishment” and a few very credible professionals like Professor Tim Noakes (my hero) and Asseem Malhotra about what causes Type 2 diabetes and how to cure it and I’m positive you’ll be hearing a lot more in the years to come as the stubborn government barriers start coming down.

The simplest way for a person to find out if a diet is helping them reverse Type 2 is to see what happens on a daily basis to their blood sugars. Continue reading “Type 2 diabetes is absolutely, definitely, certainly curable!!!”

Are you addicted to sugar?

I have a very dear friend who like me, has fibromyalgia.  She is clearly also an addictive person having gone through phases of drinking Coke by the litre, smoking heavily, and she also has an addiction to sugar.

Many years ago I was admitted to a clinic  (for severe depression which I now know was the fibromyalgia) which also treated drug and alcohol addicts.  During my 3 week stay, I spent a lot of time talking to the counsellors and addicts and gained a better understanding about addiction.    I learnt that most alcoholics can remember their very first drink because they have a gene that is triggered in that instance.   Other people develop a dependence through years of over indulgence.

I’m sure that you have come across alcoholics and drug addicts that just by looking at them, you know that they are very seriously ill and have absolutely no control over their addiction.

Addiction to sugar can be just as bad.    My friend that I mentioned to you overcame her addiction to Coke many years ago but unsurprisingly became very overweight and developed Type 2 diabetes.  The terror of it all prompted her to have a gastric bypass which led to her losing loads of weight and finally achieving the body that she had desperately struggled for.     But sadly, a gastric bypass does not cure an addiction so she found ways to still get her “sugar fix”.

About a year ago, I could sense she was miserable and clearly not well and she admitted to me that she was having sugar hypo’s, a nasty condition where blood sugars are so erratic that they can leave you feeling dizzy, shaky, hot, sweaty and faint.   When I chatted to her and asked what was going on, she sobbed and admitted that she was still eating loads of sugar despite knowing how deadly it was for her body.   She felt out of control.   When I asked what her need was for the sugar, her response broke my heart.   “Because it’s the only thing that makes me feel happy”.    What a powerful statement that was.

Sugar has the power to control our lives.    If the thought of cutting sugar out of your life terrifies you, its a massive signal that it’s exactly what you need to do.   Sugar is not a “food group” like protein or fats that our bodies need.    We can get what we need from fruit, vegetables and even protein.     The physical cravings can go pretty quickly – from 1 to 6 weeks – but the mental cravings can take years.

If you are struggling and feel you need some support, do email me at the link under Contact.

Is unwanted sexual attention keeping you overweight?

We are all sexual beings and sex was designed to be a wonderful thing between two people but sometimes, it can leave a nasty legacy.

It’s true that since the 60’s, attitudes towards sex have become incredibly liberal.  I was brought up being told that people only had sex after they were married and only with each other!

Imagine what happens when a person who has had that drummed into them finds themselves thoroughly enjoying sex and even becoming promiscuous.  There is a potential for that person to love having various encounters whilst at the same time feeling incredibly ashamed. Continue reading “Is unwanted sexual attention keeping you overweight?”

Is childhood abuse keeping you overweight?

I heard once that 60% of people that seek help for bariatric surgery have experienced abuse in their childhood.   That’s a shocking statistic but it does confirm the long believed assumption that there is a direct link between weight, childhood abuse and neglect.

Many people who suffer abuse experience deep shame, assuming fault for something that was not their fault at all.    They often become withdrawn which may lead to a lack of meaningful relationships and friendships which then compounds a belief within them that they are not worthy.    A fertile ground is established for this hurt, abused little person to lack confidence, lack self esteem, lack trust, to believe that they are “different” and don’t belong, that they are not worthy of love, security, care, safety and a normal life.  Continue reading “Is childhood abuse keeping you overweight?”

Could a Hyper-Parathyroid problem be making you gain weight?

I am posting this pretty unusual post because I have committed to raising awareness of this hardly known, destructive but easily cured condition.  I’m also sharing it because it can be the reason your weight is going up rapidly for no logical reason!

For those who don’t know my story, I have had fibromyalgia for 30 years and the two symptoms which affect me most are extreme fatigue and pain.    Around the time my Dad died in 2013, I was so exhausted I could barely get out of bed and went off to the GP yet again for help.  Strangely, this GP did what no other had done.   He tested my calcium levels and they came back as above normal.  He called me back and did a “pth” or parathyroid blood test which also came back as out of the normal range.   He had found my problem with a simple blood test.  Continue reading “Could a Hyper-Parathyroid problem be making you gain weight?”

People should watch what they say….or not!

I could write a book about the horrendous things people have said to my group clients.  It honestly beggars belief.    Some people have no filter, they don’t think before they speak and they have no clue how incredibly hurtful and long lasting their comments can be.

I had a client whose husband told her he couldn’t bear to have sex with her because she was too fat.   She weighed 13 stone (182 lbs).

I remember one client who told me that one of her colleagues would come up behind her in her chair at work, turn her collar over and check the size of her clothing to make sure she wasn’t “lying about what you weigh”.  Continue reading “People should watch what they say….or not!”

Water Part 1 – Why should I drink more water?

I’ve spread the Water topic over 3 days because there is so much important information to absorb!

Everyone knows that water is absolutely essential for the body but that doesn’t help us drink it!  Hopefully when you understand what’s going on you will find it easier.

You can live without food for a pretty long time, depending on your weight, but go without water for even a few hours and the body starts to feel it.  Continue reading “Water Part 1 – Why should I drink more water?”

Are you lonely?

Loneliness is the cause of many a destructive catch 22 situations!    I wonder if you can identify with any of this?

Let’s imagine you are 30 and single.   You spend a lot of your time out socialising in the hopes of meeting your “perfect partner” but at this point they seem pretty elusive.   Yes you meet people and have a few dates but the “knight in shining armour” doesn’t show up.   Meanwhile, all your friends are getting married, you are bridesmaid a few times and then the babies start!  With all this socialising, your weight is slowly but surely creeping up and you begin to wonder “what’s wrong with me?”  You start becoming despondent and withdraw a little, staying home to watch movies and start to snack.   One day you can’t get your favourite stretch jeans on any more and that’s that – you stop going out at all, thinking that no man could ever find you attractive because of your size.   The hopelessness makes you turn to wine, chocolate and crisps.    Suddenly you find yourself 35, single, overweight, unfit and very lonely.

The sad Catch 22 in this situation is that to boost your confidence so you can attract the right person, you need to lose weight but because you are feeling SO lonely, you can’t stop eating!  

So a here’s a direct question for you.   Will comfort eating help you find a partner?   No.   So it needs to stop.    The loneliness will not go immediately so you will have to be strong and find other ways to deal with it.     Here are a few suggestions and encouragements;

  • Do a vision board of yourself happy with a partner (see Vision Board post)
  • Write a list of all the qualities you would love your new partner to have.   If you don’t have a clear idea in your head, how does your head know where to look?
  • Challenge your beliefs!  If you believe you can’t do it, you won’t.   There is absolutely no logical reason why you can’t lose weight and find a partner!
  • Find a weight loss program and get started
  • Find an support group whether real or online – the loneliness will start lifting when you find others who feel the same way you do
  • Commit to keeping going whether you have lapses or not
  • Do not buy any bigger clothes!
  • Set yourself a realistic goal for the first month and then reward yourself with a new outfit when you reach it.
  • Keep setting goals and rewarding your achievements in ways other than meals and food.  ie.  Bubble bath, a movie, a trip away, a piece of jewellery
  • Once you are 5 to 6 weeks in, you will find that your confidence has lifted.  Now it’s time to start getting out there.     Think about the qualities your hoped for partner would have and think about where you are likely to find them.  ie. if you want someone artistic, think about doing a painting or photography course.
  • Practise going out on your own and feeling comfortable with it.   Honestly, the only person it bothers is you!    Try and relax and enjoy it.   When you realise it literally will not kill you to be on your own, the situation loses its “hold” over you.   Many people actually enjoy time on their own.
  • Get out socially as often as you can to meet new people.  As you expand your contacts, they will introduce you to friends and so the chances of you meeting a great person increase.
  • Get to the gym!   Besides the usual weight loss benefits, you may meet someone nice there!
  • Realise that “attracting” the right person has nothing to do with your weight.  It’s about the “aura” you give out.
  • Do online dating but……. When you put up the post, say specifically that you are looking for friendship with men* who share your interests.    This takes away all the awkward potential rejection scenarios and you may end up with a great friend who introduces you to his colleague who turns up to be the man of your dreams!
  • See every outing as a potential opportunity to meet a partner ie. dress  the way you would like to look if you were to meet them.
  • But …. if you don’t meet them, don’t come home gutted and ready to end your life and eat chocolate!   You might meet them tomorrow!!!    Keep going!

Life has a great way of surprising you when you least expect it!

I’m a firm believer that if you really want something badly enough, you will find it.  Make a project of it and be on a mission!  You need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and be okay with feeling “uncomfortable” on occasions.  The more you practise, the less you will turn to food / drink to cope.    There are loads of potential partners out there for you.   You won’t find them sitting at home.   You’ve got to get out there, fill your life with as much fun and pleasure as you can, be happy in your skin,  have strong meaningful values and you will very soon attract the person you want to share the rest of your life with.

I could share loads of heart warming stories with you of ladies who literally never believed they would ever find a man because they were over 25 stone who are now living the picket fence dream!

Let us know when that happens!!

* I have written this from the perspective of a heterosexual female hoping to meet a male.   Swap the words if they don’t work for you!



Are you feeling totally despondent and hopeless about your weight?

If this is how you feel, I hear you.   I understand because I’ve been there.    As we get older there are so many things that work against us and there are medical conditions that we may pick up too.   Just the fact we’ve been overweight for a long period can cause insulin resistance which makes it pretty tough to get that weight moving, not to mention the menopause.

Despite having years of experience with counselling and coaching skills to help people lose weight and over 25 years of studying the biology and logic to weight loss, I spent many years gaining weight!!!   It was absolutely soul destroying, it affected my confidence and made me question everything I thought I knew.

Which brings me to my first bit of advice to you.

 A      Find out as much information as you can about your health.   Make sure you have a doctor who listens to you, is willing to do all the standard tests as well as a few extras that you feel should be explored.   Do your own research and without self diagnosing, see if there is anything that could be affecting you.   I would recommend that in addition to the normal, get your Vit B’s, Vitamin D, thyroid and blood sugars at the very least tested.    Besides Fibromyalgia, I had an adenoma (benign tumour) on a parathyroid gland which went undiagnosed for 12 years then ignored by the doctors for a further 6.   All that time, my body was blowing up like a balloon!    I had never heard of a parathyroid gland before and was astonished at how a simple op could change my weight so dramatically.    Something could be affecting your weight too!    Understand how certain medications could be making it tougher and how important it is to reduce some medications as you lose weight (always with your doctor’s approval of course).

      Once you know exactly what is going on with your health, the key thing is to find the right diet for you.     I chose a specific diet which was for “health with a side effect of weight loss”.   I was so impressed with the science behind it and support that I paid a lot of money to become a consultant for them.  Whilst my clients all lost weight steadily, I initially lost a lot and then it didn’t budge……for a year!!!   I spent time gut healing, cutting out gluten, cutting out dairy, even going carnivore for a while…..and nothing changed.    There is no such thing as “one size fits all” when it comes to diets.  You are a unique individual and need to find a program that addresses your specific body.

And that’s it.    Because once you have found the right way of eating for you, the consistent loss will be the driving force to keep you motivated, help you change unhelpful behaviours and raise your belief that you can….and will….. find your “happy body”.    

If you would like to hear what I tried, what didn’t work for me and the simple change I made which finally got things going, feel free to email me directly from the Contact page on the blog and let’s have a chat.