Being “judged” will never help someone lose weight!

My son is fanatical about cricket and at the grand age of 38 plays for a local county team.   I’m just as fanatical about sitting in the sun watching him every Saturday afternoon and seldom miss a game.   I sit quietly minding my own business and usually the opposing team are sitting close by whilst their team bats and my son’s team are bowling / fielding.  I overhear very interesting, often very male oriented banter!

I also overhear comments made by the team and from time to time they are about my son.    I never respond but on one occasion, a player was chirping with comments like “that guy can’t run”, “he’s hopeless at catching” etc.  When he said “that guy runs like he’s disabled” which was followed by raucous laughter from the team, I couldn’t hold myself back any more.  I turned to them  quietly and calmly asked “would you feel differently if you knew he has had two hip replacements?”.   Needless to say they felt very embarrassed when I told them my son had his first hip replacement at 23 and his second at 35.

As overweight people, we know how it feels to constantly be unfairly judged. Continue reading “Being “judged” will never help someone lose weight!”

What’s your motivation for losing weight?

Many people start a diet for reasons of vanity.   I ask all my clients on their first session what they hate about being “fat” and most of them get very embarrassed to admit that they “don’t like” their body, “feel ashamed” of their legs, hate the fact they can’t wear a bikini or have “gross flabby skin”.   It’s as if they expect me to judge them for not liking their bodies.

I never do.  I think humans have an inbuilt motivation to look our best because that in turn helps us feel happy and contented.   I also believe that we are all individuals and entitled to feel what we feel.    I often hear the expression “I should be grateful and happy because my life is not nearly as bad as hers”.  Continue reading “What’s your motivation for losing weight?”

You need time to Recover from illness and surgery.

Over time, I have come across many clients who have had surgery whilst on their weight loss journey, some anticipated and some a total surprise.   One thing that is pretty consistent with them all is the impact it has on them afterwards.

Almost without exception, they all find themselves very weepy and down about 4 weeks after the op.   They talk about just not feeling themselves, feel overwhelmed, somewhat down and depressed and that life feels too much let alone the diet!

I’m no medical expert but I suspect this has to do with anaesthetic. Continue reading “You need time to Recover from illness and surgery.”

Are you afraid of fat?

Are you terrified to eat fat?   Do you avoid it at all costs and constantly look for the low fat foods when you shop?    Do you cut the fat off your meat?   You could be doing yourself a great disservice and keeping yourself overweight.  Hang on ….. don’t run away!   Just be open minded enough to read what I have to say and then be curious enough to research it a little more.

First of all, think about this.    Why do you think it is that every chef uses loads of butter or olive oil when cooking?    Because fat makes food taste fantastic!   My husband makes the best scrambled eggs you’ve ever tasted.   When I watched him to find out what was so different to how I made them, it was simply the loads of butter he added!

Second.   The other thing that fat does is make you feel full.   It’s satiating.   When you increase the amount of fat you eat, you feel full and therefore eat less.  Continue reading “Are you afraid of fat?”

Are biscuits controlling your life?

Of course by biscuits, I could just as easily be talking about Haribos, chocolate or ice cream…. or any other “goody” that you feel you cannot live without.

It may sound silly and trivial to talk about a biscuit ruining a person’s life but honestly, the relationship between us and food can be incredibly powerful and should not be underestimated.

I recall a client I had once who would diet beautifully all week but on Tuesday night’s would undo it all by having tea with a few biscuits.   This went on for weeks and weeks.  Continue reading “Are biscuits controlling your life?”

I’m celebrating today!!!! Would you be happy with this progress?

I hope you won’t mind if today’s post is all about me but I feel the need to share my success.    I’ve reached a major milestone today in that I weigh under 200 lbs!   I’m going to make the most of it as if I lose one more pound, I will be less than 90 kgs and after another 3 lbs, I’ll be in the 13 stones!   Whichever way you measure your weight, this is significant and I honestly cannot remember (thanks fibro fog!) when I last weighed this amount.

I started this journey on 1st July 2017, 14 days after I had the parathyroid tumour removed.   I had no idea how long I had the adenoma for so I was pretty confused about the all the symptoms over the years; pain, chronic fatigue, very bad sleep, depression and a whole lot more.   My primary goal was to eat very healthy food and get my body back to what was “normal” so I could discover what symptoms I still had.    Weightloss has been a wonderful side effect.

Here is what I have achieved / learnt in the past 21 months; Continue reading “I’m celebrating today!!!! Would you be happy with this progress?”

What will it take to get you to change?

This is quite a frightening statement when you compare it to “I am a Comfort eater“.    It feels like you have to give up being who you are to become who you want to be.   

In a way that’s exactly what needs to happen.

Many of us go for years expressing how unhappy we are with our weight.   One day we wake up and realise we’ve been saying the same thing for 10 years but not done anything about it.   Why?    Because we have not become “uncomfortable” enough with our body, with our health and with our life.

You know the saying “You have to reach rock bottom before you will take action to change”.   It’s so relevant here.

It seems that it’s only when we become ill, when the doctor tells us something that really shocks us, when we lose our partner to a “thinner, prettier” woman, when we see that photo at the family wedding, etc that we suddenly become willing to change.

The thing is that change is frightening for everyone.   We like things to feel familiar and be predictable even when they are not good for us.   There will be things that we have to give up and we worry that we won’t be able to manage.

My advice would be to find someone to help you.   Find a coach who can inspire you, raise your belief in your capabilities and who can give you a safe, proven plan to follow.     Commit to seeing that person at the same time on the same day every week for at least 8 weeks to help you develop and stick to boundaries which sub-consciously will help you stick to boundaries with your food.

The Motivation for most people to lose weight and keep it off starts as Discomfort – feeling awful, not liking the way you look, feeling ill, no energy, not sleeping well and feeling unhappy.    The good thing is that Discomfort very soon changes.   Small positive things start happening quickly and very soon, discomfort motivation will be replaced by excitement motivation.

Some people simply won’t be as kind as you – that’s ok!

Are you one of those amazing people who are really good at remembering everyone’s birthday, go to a lot of trouble to give very thoughtful gifts and are always there where people are in need?

I used to be like that and it taught me a great life lesson when I could no longer manage it because of my health.

I can remember times when I would be wracked with guilt because I sent a birthday card too late to reach the person on time or forgot to send someone a Christmas card.    I would feel very unhappy, uncomfortable and it could upset me emotionally for days.    Until one day I realised that the person I had sent the card late to had not sent me a birthday card in years!   It was a lightbulb moment! Continue reading “Some people simply won’t be as kind as you – that’s ok!”

Learn how to manage your emotions and you’ll learn how to manage your weight.

I often watch debates about politics or religion on tv and thank heavens I’ve never attended one because quite honestly, there are times when people say things that I think are so stupid and so illogical that it really gets under my skin!   I know for a fact I couldn’t stay calm and respond with objectivity and calmness.    But actually, this is exactly what we should all aim for.

If you think of the most powerful and inspiring leaders that have ever lived, they have an incredible ability to see things objectively and calmly ….. in other words, to not allow their personal emotional response to control them!    Think of  Mandela, Ghandi, Churchill and Obama.    Continue reading “Learn how to manage your emotions and you’ll learn how to manage your weight.”

Are you in a never-ending Cruise mentality?

Let me first explain what a Cruise mentality is.

I have had many clients over the years who come to me to lose weight so they can look good in their finest clothes and thoroughly enjoy a Cruise ship holiday.   All good so far.

The problem is those very same people put in 5 or 6 months of hard work to lose 3 or 4 stone (20 – 26 kgs) so that they can eat everything they can stuff into their bodies on an all inclusive 10 day cruise!!    Our brain’s say to us “you’ve paid for it, you might as well get your money’s worth”.    When the package includes alcohol, oh dear!!!!     Ironic – lose weight so that you can enjoy putting it on again. Continue reading “Are you in a never-ending Cruise mentality?”