If you want to join my confidential support group, here’s where to go…..

The purpose for me starting this blog is simply because I want to  help others.

I have learnt so much useful stuff over the past 25 years but my health no longer allows me to see the 50 face to face clients a week that I used to so this is a different way I can still keep my passion thriving whilst helping others.

Originally I wanted to have a forum on the blog because it could be anonymous and people who are losing weight generally don’t want all their friends on Facebook to know they are on diet let alone share personal feelings and pain. Continue reading “If you want to join my confidential support group, here’s where to go…..”

Understand how your values affect your weight.

Look at the list below, quickly pick your top 5 and list them in order of priority.

Acceptance Fairness Quality
Accomplishment Family Realistic
Accountability Famous Reason
Accuracy Fearless Recognition
Achievement Feelings Recreation
Adaptability Ferocious Reflective
Alertness Fidelity Respect
Altruism Focus Responsibility
Ambition Foresight Restraint
Amusement Fortitude Results-oriented
Assertiveness Freedom Reverence
Attentive Friendship Rigour
Awareness Fun Risk
Balance Generosity Security
Beauty Genius Self-reliance
Boldness Giving Selfless
Bravery Goodness Sensitivity
Brilliance Grace Serenity
Calm Gratitude Service
Candour Greatness Sharing
Capable Growth Significance
Careful Happiness Silence
Certainty Hard work Simplicity
Challenge Harmony Sincerity
Charity Health Skill
Cleanliness Honesty Skilfulness
Clear Honour Smart
Clever Hope Solitude
Comfort Humility Spirit
Commitment Imagination Spirituality
Common sense Improvement Spontaneous
Communication Independence Stability
Community Individuality Status
Compassion Innovation Stewardship
Competence Inquisitive Strength
Concentration Insightful Structure
Confidence Inspiring Success
Connection Integrity Support
Consciousness Intelligence Surprise
Consistency Intensity Sustainability
Contentment Intuitive Talent
Contribution Irreverent Teamwork
Control Joy Temperance
Conviction Justice Thankful
Cooperation Kindness Thorough
Courage Knowledge Thoughtful
Courtesy Lawful Timeliness
Creation Leadership Tolerance
Creativity Learning Toughness
Credibility Liberty Traditional
Curiosity Logic Tranquillity
Decisive Love Transparency
Decisiveness Loyalty Trust
Dedication Mastery Trustworthy
Dependability Maturity Truth
Determination Meaning Understanding
Development Moderation Uniqueness
Devotion Motivation Unity
Dignity Openness Valour
Discipline Optimism Victory
Discovery Order Vigour
Drive Organisation Vision
Effectiveness Originality Vitality
Efficiency Passion Wealth
Empathy Patience Welcoming
Empower Peace Winning
Endurance Performance Wisdom
Energy Persistence Wonder

Now think back to the last time you “lost the plot” and ate something you know is not part of your diet plan or had a little binge.   Are the two connected?  I’ll bet they are!

Because our values are our absolute priorities and really important to us, any time they are “threatened”, our emotions rise dramatically and it’s at that point we often resort to food to deal with the feelings.
Very often our families are involved because family is usually in the top 5.   ie.  If one of your parents is rushed into hospital ill, it becomes very difficult to stay on plan.   If one of your kids is having a hard time at school with bullying, you will find it hard.    If work is a high value and you hear rumours of redundancy, you are unlikely to cope with a diet.
It’s useful for you to spend time on the above list and really understand and absorb what your values are.    You will then be forearmed to understand why things are not going to plan.
Just a quick question to finish off.   Was health in your top 5?    If not, that’s curious considering you are here looking to lose weight.   Perhaps you need to think about that and see how you can move it up.

Type 2 diabetes is absolutely, definitely, certainly curable!!!

What I am going to say on this page may seem very controversial to some and I will say at the outset, I am not trained medically in any way shape or form.   I have no dietary qualifications……just a load of interest, experience and common sense!

If you have Type 2 diabetes and have been told it’s incurable or irreversible, it’s hogwash!   There’s a bit of a ding dong going on in cyberspace between the “establishment” and a few very credible professionals like Professor Tim Noakes (my hero) and Asseem Malhotra about what causes Type 2 diabetes and how to cure it and I’m positive you’ll be hearing a lot more in the years to come as the stubborn government barriers start coming down.

The simplest way for a person to find out if a diet is helping them reverse Type 2 is to see what happens on a daily basis to their blood sugars. Continue reading “Type 2 diabetes is absolutely, definitely, certainly curable!!!”

If you want to lose weight, Forgive!

I was very young when I fell pregnant and “had to” marry my first husband.   It soon became evident to me that he was mentally abusive and on a few occasions physically abusive too.   He persuaded me that we needed to leave my country of birth to move to South Africa where I had no family and now had two children under the age of 2.   I won’t go into detail but I endured a few years of hell before someone who witnessed his behaviour said to me “If you don’t leave, he will kill your children and you”.    It was like a bolt of lightening had hit me and for the very first time, it occurred to me that I could leave him and I did.

Sadly, I didn’t have the emotional maturity or support to know how to move on and over the years I became bitter, resentful and angry at him for “ruining my life”.   I couldn’t say anything positive about him and despite my efforts to never say anything bad about him in front of our boys, the boys have told me since that they were very aware of my hatred towards him.    I carried it for years and it raged within me.

Some years later when I was still single, lonely, lacking in confidence and self esteem, a therapist suggested I forgive him.   I was furious with her.   How could anyone who had done so much damage deserve to be forgiven and I certainly wasn’t going to forget!    Slowly, with her help, I learnt that I could forgive him within myself without him ever being aware of it and that by doing so, I could free myself to be happy again.   It doesn’t change the fact that what he did was wrong – it simply means I’m choosing not to let it continue ruining my life.

If you struggle with your weight and there is something or someone you haven’t forgiven, the chances are that you will resort to comforting food whenever those emotions bubble up.   And they will!    Decide who or what it is that you need to forgive, simply do a little ceremony by writing it on a piece of paper and burning it or get some help if you need it.    As you forgive, the feeling of relief is huge!   It’s wonderful to let go of all the anger and let your mind and body fill with hope and love instead.    And you will find you no longer need to resort to food to ease the pain.

 

Your beliefs can block your way to success!

Have you noticed the really heated exchanges that are taking place between vegans and meat eaters lately?   I read loads of stuff about various “WOE”‘s (Ways Of Eating) and to be honest, it really shocks me how militant, vicious and nasty people are being with each other over food!!!!    This post is not about taking sides in the debate but rather to understand why we become so intensely passionate and extreme about things we believe in.  In my quest, I came across the expression “Beliefs will always trump facts”.

What this is saying is that we can adopt beliefs and they become absolutely fundamental and integral to who we are as a person and we base our values and sense of purpose on those beliefs.    We find it really difficult to change from those beliefs because without them, we lose a part of who we are, our purpose and our reason for being.

Think of something you believe in really strongly and think back to where it all started.  Perhaps you picked it up from people as you grew up, a life event sent you looking for answers and someone you resonated with sensed your “need” at the time gave you the answers you needed.   You may have read it in books.   The thing is, what they told you may not have been based in fact.

When it comes to different diets, it is SO difficult to know who’s facts are right.  Every day we are told things that are contradicted the very next day!    Eggs are bad / Eggs are good.    Margarine is the best – No Butter is best!   Fat causes heart disease / Fat does not cause heart disease and is in fact good for you.    What are we supposed to do?

Personally, I went to a talk with Dr Rami Cohen in South Africa over 20 years ago.   He did a 3 hour lecture on how he discovered when he was the head of the largest fertility clinic in the country that the fatter a person was, the more infertile they seemed to become.   He studied the hormonal reactions, did research into various foods and came up with a diet  which stimulated the hormones, increased fertility and as a side effect, they all lost weight.    What he said made absolute sense to me, I tried it and I lost 4 stone (25 kgs) in 4 months eating great food!   That was all the evidence I needed.   It formed the platform for all my beliefs and it has grown from there.   Along the way, some new facts have come to light and I’ve tweaked a few things but  I’ve never had any clients who have followed the formula not lose weight since.    The proof was in the pudding.

You may be really surprised to know that 20 years later, this Doctor’s methods are slated and criticised.    Dieticians and nutritionists around the world say they are “dangerous” because they don’t conform to “the food pyramid” or the “government guidelines”.     Beliefs trump facts!     What if the “food pyramid” and “government guidelines” were wrong in the first place?     Personally, the fact that half the world is obese is very clear evidence that they are wrong and that we should all be willing to think outside the box.

 

Are you addicted to sugar?

I have a very dear friend who like me, has fibromyalgia.  She is clearly also an addictive person having gone through phases of drinking Coke by the litre, smoking heavily, and she also has an addiction to sugar.

Many years ago I was admitted to a clinic  (for severe depression which I now know was the fibromyalgia) which also treated drug and alcohol addicts.  During my 3 week stay, I spent a lot of time talking to the counsellors and addicts and gained a better understanding about addiction.    I learnt that most alcoholics can remember their very first drink because they have a gene that is triggered in that instance.   Other people develop a dependence through years of over indulgence.

I’m sure that you have come across alcoholics and drug addicts that just by looking at them, you know that they are very seriously ill and have absolutely no control over their addiction.

Addiction to sugar can be just as bad.    My friend that I mentioned to you overcame her addiction to Coke many years ago but unsurprisingly became very overweight and developed Type 2 diabetes.  The terror of it all prompted her to have a gastric bypass which led to her losing loads of weight and finally achieving the body that she had desperately struggled for.     But sadly, a gastric bypass does not cure an addiction so she found ways to still get her “sugar fix”.

About a year ago, I could sense she was miserable and clearly not well and she admitted to me that she was having sugar hypo’s, a nasty condition where blood sugars are so erratic that they can leave you feeling dizzy, shaky, hot, sweaty and faint.   When I chatted to her and asked what was going on, she sobbed and admitted that she was still eating loads of sugar despite knowing how deadly it was for her body.   She felt out of control.   When I asked what her need was for the sugar, her response broke my heart.   “Because it’s the only thing that makes me feel happy”.    What a powerful statement that was.

Sugar has the power to control our lives.    If the thought of cutting sugar out of your life terrifies you, its a massive signal that it’s exactly what you need to do.   Sugar is not a “food group” like protein or fats that our bodies need.    We can get what we need from fruit, vegetables and even protein.     The physical cravings can go pretty quickly – from 1 to 6 weeks – but the mental cravings can take years.

If you are struggling and feel you need some support, do email me at the link under Contact.

Is unwanted sexual attention keeping you overweight?

We are all sexual beings and sex was designed to be a wonderful thing between two people but sometimes, it can leave a nasty legacy.

It’s true that since the 60’s, attitudes towards sex have become incredibly liberal.  I was brought up being told that people only had sex after they were married and only with each other!

Imagine what happens when a person who has had that drummed into them finds themselves thoroughly enjoying sex and even becoming promiscuous.  There is a potential for that person to love having various encounters whilst at the same time feeling incredibly ashamed. Continue reading “Is unwanted sexual attention keeping you overweight?”

Is childhood abuse keeping you overweight?

I heard once that 60% of people that seek help for bariatric surgery have experienced abuse in their childhood.   That’s a shocking statistic but it does confirm the long believed assumption that there is a direct link between weight, childhood abuse and neglect.

Many people who suffer abuse experience deep shame, assuming fault for something that was not their fault at all.    They often become withdrawn which may lead to a lack of meaningful relationships and friendships which then compounds a belief within them that they are not worthy.    A fertile ground is established for this hurt, abused little person to lack confidence, lack self esteem, lack trust, to believe that they are “different” and don’t belong, that they are not worthy of love, security, care, safety and a normal life.  Continue reading “Is childhood abuse keeping you overweight?”

Could a Hyper-Parathyroid problem be making you gain weight?

I am posting this pretty unusual post because I have committed to raising awareness of this hardly known, destructive but easily cured condition.  I’m also sharing it because it can be the reason your weight is going up rapidly for no logical reason!

For those who don’t know my story, I have had fibromyalgia for 30 years and the two symptoms which affect me most are extreme fatigue and pain.    Around the time my Dad died in 2013, I was so exhausted I could barely get out of bed and went off to the GP yet again for help.  Strangely, this GP did what no other had done.   He tested my calcium levels and they came back as above normal.  He called me back and did a “pth” or parathyroid blood test which also came back as out of the normal range.   He had found my problem with a simple blood test.  Continue reading “Could a Hyper-Parathyroid problem be making you gain weight?”

People should watch what they say….or not!

I could write a book about the horrendous things people have said to my group clients.  It honestly beggars belief.    Some people have no filter, they don’t think before they speak and they have no clue how incredibly hurtful and long lasting their comments can be.

I had a client whose husband told her he couldn’t bear to have sex with her because she was too fat.   She weighed 13 stone (182 lbs).

I remember one client who told me that one of her colleagues would come up behind her in her chair at work, turn her collar over and check the size of her clothing to make sure she wasn’t “lying about what you weigh”.  Continue reading “People should watch what they say….or not!”